


Sincerely, Rei

by Maarkriifaas



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Continuation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Letters, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Graduation, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:43:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maarkriifaas/pseuds/Maarkriifaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters from Rei to Nagisa and all his responses throughout their third year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nagisa,

I would like to know why you were not present at swim meet today, specifically this close to the official opening. Three first years tried out, as well as Mori Ito from our year; _they were not beautiful at all_. Especially not in the breaststroke. I need you to come more than ever now, without Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai around to help anymore. ~~And I mis~~ Since we are not in the same homeroom anymore, I thought a letter in your mailbox would be the most convenient form of talking.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei, I thought we went through this, my parents won't be letting me join this year. Last year they were more understanding because it was the middle of the year, but since my grades didn't improve much, they want me to focus on my studies. Don't worry though, I'll still come and help sometimes, if they let me! While I'll admit it's a little creepy to have you dropping notes in my mailbox, it's good to know you missed me! So I figured I'd do the same, anyhow, this is hardly a note anymore and more of a letter, ha ha. I'll see you later! (ノ^∇^)

\- Your Nagisa-Senpai!

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

That letter was an abomination. And stop drawing little faces on the sides, they are only confusing. Please structure your sentences properly, you used far too many exclamation points and had several run-on sentences and fragments. And never forget to address the letter to the recipient, nor is "Your Nagisa-Senpai!" an appropriate signature. ~~Besides that,~~   ~~I did not~~ Furthermore, I did not miss you from the club, I simply ~~wanted you to co~~  required help with the first years, as I previously stated. Considering I cannot swim any stroke (excluding butterfly,) gracefully, I cannot teach very well either. Today marks the second practice you've missed, please do not refrain from showing up to the third.

And to finish, I already knew your address, thus the creepy aspect of your argument is now void.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei-chan!

Sorry about not showing up today, and my sentence fragments and whatever. But I have convinced my parents, thanks to your letters, that I should rejoin swim club, so yay! They're going to allow me to go to half of the practices and tournaments, but only if my average goes up five percent for the first report card. So you'd better help me Reiiii-chan! （。＞ω＜）。

Oh, and the fact you already knew my address just makes the creepiness factor increase, not become "void". (￣ω￣)

Have a nice day!  
\- Nagisa!

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

I have given up all hope on the linguistic level of your letters and will try to ignore the blatant errors ("Have a nice day!" is no better than "Your Nagisa-Senpai!"). Instead, I would like to focus and congratulate you on your improved breaststroke; when did you learn to swim so well? And of course, I would be glad to help you with your studies, tough as they are for you. Perhaps we could meet up evenings, and on occasion, over the weekends to work? If not, if it was permitted by your parents, after each swim meet, I would be able to help you too. My own study time has been cut short recently, but I'm certain the two of us together would be able to help each other along the way.

In addition, _you_ told me your address, thus, void.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Reii-chan!

Your last letter did it! My parents are letting me attend all of the swim meets now that you've suggested studying after the fact! Although, I'm not sure why you're still giving me these letters, since we're seeing each other quite often. (゜-゜) I'll talk to you tomorrow after meet, and we can work together. (Don't worry about continuing the letters, we can just talk now.)

And only when you asked for it.

Thank you Rei!!  
\- Nagisa!

 

* * *

  

Nagisa,

For the last time,  _please,_ be mindful of your grammar.

I am continuing these letters because  ~~it's conveni~~   ~~I cannot~~   ~~I would like~~  it is simply an easy way to talk to you, after my phone broke last month. And besides that, they appear to be convincing enough for your parents to continue sending you to swim with us. As well as that, it provides a written document of all we have said and agreed upon in the last few weeks, in case one of us were to forget. Keep in mind we are not yet through our first term, and you cannot cut down on your efforts yet however; we must still raise your grades into the 80 percentiles.

(However you did very well in your calculus today. I am beginning to think you never needed tutoring to begin with, if only you worked a little harder by yourself.)

And I asked for it so that I could leave notes and such if the needs arose. Which, they did.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei-chaan,

What's with all the crossing out of half sentences? For someone so obsessed with appearances, you don't seem to care much about messing up a piece of paper, do you? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

And anyways, I'm not concerned about my schoolwork anymore. All that's important now is I'm allowed to swim again. Though, you were kind of right about Mori-chan, he's not very beautiful, is he? (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ)) I'm certain he'll get better though, with a lot of help. We can do that, right? We have to if we want to swim in the relay, after all! Oh, and your phone broke? You have to tell me the number for the new one you got, ok Rei? 

Which is still kind of creepy.

 Laaater!  
\- Nagisa 

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Your drawing skills are on point, as your emotions demonstrate. I will refrain from any other comments, except for another extraordinary day of swim and work.

And it's quite normal, not creepy. Could we perhaps forget the topic? We have been bickering about it for almost a month and a half now.

Also what are you implying by "the phone you got"? I have not yet purchased a replacement. I also do not know which "half-crossed-out" sentences you are referring to, but I most certainly do not perform such a messy scrawl at any point or under any circumstances.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

  

Well I saw you using one in the hallway on the way to biology the other day, so was that someone else's phone then? It looked a lot like your old model so I assumed you bought a new version to replace it. Even if you did get a new one now though, I kind of like these messages. It's like a tiny world of our own where we're the only people, and we get to talk in a way we wouldn't otherwise. 

Has it really been a month and a half? I guess so, you really know how to keep an argument going, don't you Rei-chan? I'll try and stop the emotions though, just for you, but it's going to be tough (づ￣ ³￣)づ (Last one, I promise!)

\- The breast swimmer around!

 

* * *

  

Nagisa,

Thank you very much for the discontinuation of the little faces. And as for the phone, ~~it was actually neve~~  in fact I had borrowed a friend's phone, because as I said, my old one was and is still broken and completely unusable. I will notify you when I do purchase a new one. 

As for this "different world" of yours, I'm not certain I fully understand your meaning, but perhaps so. It is an interesting agreement all the same. Shall we meet in the regular spot in the library tomorrow evening?

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei, Rei, REI!

We got our report cards back today! I'm so happy, my overall average was 86! It's not quite as good as two or three years ago, but my parents have decided it's a large enough improvement I can stay in swim club for the rest of the year, as long as I don't fall back under into the 70'a again. This is all thanks to you, Rei-chan! 

See you later!

\- Your favourite Nagisa!

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Congratulations. I am pleased to hear that your first term has gone so well. Are you doing anything of interest over summer vacations? 

I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Is everything alright? You haven't yet answered my previous message and it has been a week. Furthermore, you've been absent from all swim meets.

I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

~~Please reply to me. I'm worried now.~~

~~\- Rei~~

 

* * *

 

 It's been almost two months, Nagisa. What happened to you? Are you alright? If you need help with anything, I'll be there in an instant, or if something has happened, send me a message. My new phone is the same number as my old one. Please tell me you're alright.

~~I am nervous about not getting a response.~~

\- Rei

_._

_._

_._

_...where are you?_  

 

* * *

 

_**(1) New Messages:** _

**1:57 PM:  
"NagisaNagisaNAGISA!: what's with the like si..." **

 

 

_Password Accepted_

 

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** what's with the like six messages Rei? did you miss me that much? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** No, I was simply concerned about your wellbeing. Considering we would exchange messages perhaps once a week, and then you were silent for about eight to ten weeks up until now, I would think my fear was justified. And, in addition to that, I only left you three.

 

_It is 2:00 PM_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Yeah, you missed me. I feel stupidly special! (・∀・)  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I thought you said you would refrain from using so many faces.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Oops.. sorry Rei-chan! Anyways, you didn't need to be so concerned, I was only on a little trip with my family, and then we were just kind of busy, so I couldn't find the time to reply to your messages.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** ...I see.

 

_...so you didn't have time for me then. That's alright, I guess._

_...why do I feel so irritated?_

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** So what were you even doing with your family then? I hope wherever you visited was worth it. And how are they doing?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Yeah, it was really fun, we traveled down to the southeast coast and I got to practice some more in the ocean. And they're fine. Did you have fun over summer, Rei-chan?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Yes.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Uhm, alright. Well I got to swim, as I said before. What did you do?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Not much.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Are you alright Rei?

 

_It is 2:15 PM_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Rei?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Yes, I am fine. And what about your family?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** They're fine too. Didn't you already ask about them?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** If so, my apologies. And did you visit anyone?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Yeah, this girl I used to be friends with. Well, family friends, our moms were friends. Her name's rose. We practically grew up together, but we haven't talked in years. I'd love to see her more honestly.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** *Rose  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I see. And what about your family then?

 

_It is 2:30 PM_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Rei? Are you sure you're alright?

 

_What is wrong with me?_

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** Yes. Fkne.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I meant fine.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** You sure you're not upset about anything?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Why would I potentially be upset about you spending time with your family and a girl? They are both altogether and completely insignificant to me.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** ...are you jealous of them or something?

 

_Am I?_

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** Of course not. Jealousy is simply an irrational emotion; akin to fear, it can be quelled if it does indeed arise. Though, I would not know that personally, I have never had to repress it.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Ooooh-kay then, mr never afraid/jealous of anything. And what else happened?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I would tell you, if in fact I did not have a prior arrangement I must attend now. I shall be talking to you later, or at the beginning of the next term on Tuesday. Goodbye.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** bye?

 

**Phone Locked**

_._

_._

_._

_I have nothing I need to do._

_._

_._

_._

_What is_ wrong _with me?_

 

* * *

 

Hey Rei!

New term, new us, eh? How has your swimming been going? I know it's almost a week since we started, but I'm really looking forward to the rest of the year. Even though you do have a new phone now, I still really like this letter system. It gives me something to look forward to when I get the mail after school. So, even if you don't want to keep doing it, too bad, because I want to!

Anyways, I just wanted to know what was going on with you. We haven't really talked since the last time we were texting. Are you alright? Wanna grab some udon or maybe some good old pizza together sometime? ~~How's your family doing?~~ Again, if there's anything I did to make you upset, please tell me so I can make it up to you Rei-chan!

The best of the breast!  
\- Nagisa

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

I am deeply regretful if I came off as pointed or impatient last time we spoke together. I like to believe it was something I ate disturbing my digestive system and altering my regular attitude to a less manageable state. However, I would still be very happy to help you with your schoolwork after and in school or at the library should we see each other. I am certain that by now it should have passed, logically speaking. After all, our digestive systems are made to process food in eight hours or less. Needless to say, if you still require my help, I would gladly be of service.

As for what is "going on with me," the situation remains approximately the same as last week; nothing of special interest has happened. My older brother has called home, and he had contracted a gastronomical virus, thus we were not able to chat very long. If you do in fact prefer this method of talking, I have no qualms with it.

It would be a pleasure to have some udon or pizza with you sometime in the coming week. Perhaps on the Tuesday after school, since on the following Wednesday I have almost no homework due? The details can be sorted out via phone considering it is a much faster communication method. 

I look forward to your response, as usual.

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei-chan! 

Too much information about your digestive system. Ew ew ew. Though I do hope your brother is feeling better. And on the note of food, Tuesday works for me! I'm already looking forward to it! And you can drop the "Sincerely" part Rei, we're friends, right? No need for formalities.

As for working in the library, I've been meaning to tell you sooner, buuuuuuut my parents have hired a real tutor. Since, you know, they like professionals and all that. She's supposed to be really good and I'm really sorry Rei, I tried to talk to them but they just wouldn't listen. We can still hang out and stuff though after practices?

\- Nagisa

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Don't be apologetic, it's a good thing you'll finally have a real teacher and will be able to thrive. I'm happy for you.

We'll meet at the intersection we agreed upon at six-thirty, as was previously agreed upon, alright?

\- Rei

_._

_._

_._

_So you really just don't have any time for me then._

Fine _. That's perfectly_ fine _._

 

* * *

  

_**(1) New Messages:** _

**12:24 AM:  
"NagisaNagisaNAGISA!: Rei, we need to ta.."**

 

 

_Password Accepted_

 

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Rei, we need to talk.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** About?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  About what you said  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** What did I say then?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  you know what I'm talking about rei  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** No, I don't  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Please enlighten me then  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  about THAT  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** What  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  THAT. RIGHT THERE. you're just being cold and distant all the time and then when we went out for udon, and you got maybe a little emotional or something, which I didn't even think was possible until I saw it, you started just shouting at me and saying things and we need to talk about those.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  It bothers me rei-chan. I'm worried about you  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Well don't be worried about me, I'm fine.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Rei  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I said I'm fine.   
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  rei-chan, please just listen. i know you're mad and I know you're not exactly happy about my tutor, but it wasn't me who decided to get one. I much prefer working with you.

 

_You do?_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  up until now, it's all been about swim club, but the season ends soon, and now, more importantly than ever, it's about my grades. I can't keep making sacrifices on my schoolwork if I want to go to a good university  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I understand  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** and I'm sorry.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Don't be

 

_It is 12:30 AM_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  trust me, if I were you, I'd be pissed off too.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  and besides, it's not like I'm saying let's stop being friends, it's more like I just need to prioritize right now

 

_Am I not a priori-?_

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Not to say you're not a priority, Rei-chan.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I see.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** So then, what did we need to talk about?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Well you said something about being constantly replaceable...  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Meaning?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Yeah that's what I wanted to ask  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  and you seemed really upset  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  look, Rei, my original point is, just remember that I care about you a lot and I don't want to hurt you. Ever. seriously.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13: ...** alright.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I understand now, and I am deeply sorry for whatever I may have said to upset you so much.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Alright Rei. I'll see you around, then.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  oh and in case you didn't understand, I can't come to swim club anymore, but I'll try to keep in touch.

 

_Would it be odd to say I'm going to miss him?_

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** I'm going to miss you from swim club then.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  aw, thanks rei-chan! I'll try to see you around at least! ( ◞･౪･)◞  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  oops, another emotion! bye!  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** Bye, I guess.

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

_...I'll talk to you later then, Nagisa._

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

It's been a few weeks since we last spoke. To be more precise around six or seven, but lately I am feeling a bit off. Perhaps it could be the lacking of all my closest friends, though I am not certain it is not simply due to another digestive problem. However, due to much thought and a lot of spare time, I have decided to write you a letter about what has happened over the last little while. Please be attentive throughout, considering it is slightly longer than my regular notes.

First and foremost, despite this not in fact being about me, I would like to inquire about how you have been doing lately. Has school been considerably easier with your professional  help now? How are your grades? And perhaps just as importantly, since I am not privy to their numbers or emails, how are Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai doing? I know we generally would simply discuss their recent happenings, but we have not been talking much lately, as you would also know. Do you still swim, despite quitting the club?

Now, to what I have been doing of late, the answer, as always, remains the same. But, on perhaps a more interesting note, Mori and the three first years, Hideki, Rikuto, and Takehiko, have all taken well to their specialized strokes. I have decided, as elected captain for being the only senior on the team, that the four of them together shall partake in the relay together, and I myself will focus on the 100m butterfly and the 200m freestyle. We hope to make regionals in at least one event. Hideki and Rikuto have taken a liking to the butterfly stroke as well, although Hideki has agreed to swim free for the relay, while Mori prefers the breaststroke. And of course, Takehiko has grown attached to the backstroke.

 ~~I myself have been trying to keep afloat in the midst of all our tests and homework, but on several occasions have had to seek the help of teachers and~~ Nevermind that, I have come to the conclusion you would probably be disinterested in my school life. You presumably have to do the very same things and would thus be tired of hearing about them. So instead, I shall simply end my letter here, and hope to hear back soon. This has already exceeded the length I intended to write, and I do not want to trouble you further.

I look forward to a response.

\- Rei

 

* * *

 

Rei-chan!

I know it's been a while since we last talked, so let me fill you in a little. I'll try to answer all of your questions, but there's an awful lot of them

Firstly, I'm doing great. Life has never been better (*^▽^*). Well, minus having to quit swim club, of course, and never getting to see you Rei-chan. Actually, on that topic, I kind of wanted to say sorry for leaving so abruptly and with no obvious efforts to avoid it. I think maybe after last time they wanted me to quit, for one thing, it's become less important, but also less negotiable. See before I was able to argue my way out of it, but this time, we were almost done anyways, and I needed to work harder no matter how you looked at it. And yeah, I still swim a little. It's great to hear everyone is so involved in the relay though! (ha ha I  _knew_ Mori-chan would like the breaststroke, it is the beststroke after all!)

In terms of grades, I'm still in the eighties, but I've dropped down to an eighty-two. I'll admit Akira knows what she's talking about, as a first year in university, but her methods aren't exactly easy to understand. She's confusing, and sometimes she stares off into space as though she doesn't know what's happening. Mom likes to joke she's in love with me, but I don't like to think that at all. It would be weird to have an older girl in love with me, don't you think? 

And finally, Haru-chan and Mako-chan are doing fine, I can send you their emails and numbers later if you want. I think Mako-chan caught the stomach bug that's been going around almost all of Japan recently, (๑-﹏-๑) but Haru-chan is healthy as usual. 

Missing you!  
\- Nagisaaa!

 

_Yeah, that would be weird._

_She'd better not be._

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

My apologies for the late response, I know it has already been close to a month, but I have been very preoccupied lately.

Firstly, this girl you're talking about, yes, she sounds excellent, but perhaps that would be a little strange. I should meet her sometime.

An old family friend of mine has decided to host a New Year's party, and I was curious if you would like to attend with me. I would not be able to venture out onto the streets and thus you would be left alone. So, as a compromise, I have discussed and agreed with my parents that you should attend. If you indeed want to come with us, meet us outside my house around six in the evening on New Year's Eve. If something else arises, please contact me to alert us beforehand.

Also, do not be concerned about having other people to talk to, I hear there will be a sizeable group about our age there as well. I look forward to seeing you again.

\- Rei

_._

_._

_._

_I don't want to be alone at this._

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Can we please never speak of what happened yesterday night? I was impulsive and I apologize profusely. 

\- Rei

 

* * *

 

 

_**(1) New Messages:** _

**10:24 AM:**  
**"Koukou: Rei, WHAT. THE. FUCK."**  
**10:25 AM:**  
**"Koukou: what the actual hell have you gon..."**

 

 

_Password Accepted_

 

 

 **Koukou:** Rei, WHAT. THE. FUCK.  
**Koukou:** what the actual hell have you gone and done to Nagisa?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I know. Please just stop, Makoto and Rin already had a thorough chat with me.  
**Koukou:** no, I'm not going to stop he fucking came crying to me maybe two minutes ago now because he couldn't just walk around like that. its been a WEEK and you STILL haven't talked to him again.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** So?  
**Koukou:** YOU FUCKING INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE REI HE WAS CRYING. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN NAGISA CRY?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** As a matter of fact, I have now.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  If you have another bone to pick with me, I'd appreciate if you did it without capslock stuck in place.  
**Koukou:** IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT THE NEXT THING THAT'S GOING TO BE STUCK IN PLACE IS MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS YOU KISSED HIM REI AND THEN JUST LEFT HIM THERE AT AN UNFAMILIAR PARTY WITH NO ONE HE KNEW.  
**Koukou:** (AMONG OTHER THINGS MIGHT I ADD)  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Like what now?  
**Koukou:** like what now like you know what else he did for you   
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Please be more specific, Gou.  
**Koukou:** I'm not going into details, that's boy stuff.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  No, in fact if anything, statistically, more girls do it than boys.  
**Koukou:**  you're fucking disgusting, you know that?  
**Koukou:** you'd better talk to him againRei. if I didn't know you better I'd say you were being a player, but i do know you better, and I think youre just too head over heels for him to know it. that and your stupid talk about love being "illogical"

 

_She's right you know._

_Shut up. I don't want to hear it._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'm not in love with Nagisa.  
**Koukou:**  Are too.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I am not.  
**Koukou:**  Are toooooo  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'm not going into this with you either.  
**Koukou:** So why'd YOU kiss HIM then, if he's the one who wants you so bad he'll you-know-what you  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  We did not do that  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  It's not like that Gou.  
**Koukou:** you got pretty damn close  
**Koukou:** from what I hear you refused to look down out of embarrassment the whole time, claiming "it's not beautiful"  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Shut up.  
**Koukou:** and when he convinced you to finally look down and look him in the eye, you turned bright red and covered your face again  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I said SHUT. UP.  
**Koukou:** not until you get your ass down to 3-3 and apologize to him  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'M NOT GOING TO.  
**Koukou:** DO YOU CARE ABOUT HIM?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  YES, BUT I CAN'T.

 

_It is 10:30 AM_

 

 **Koukou:** WHY NOT  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'm scared of what he'll really think of me Gou please class starts in five minutes  
**Koukou:** then you are IN LOVE WITH HIM REI.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I am NOT.  
**Koukou:** get over it. you're in love. you kissed him, you won't leave him alone, you leave him love letters and stuff, you text him  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  They're not love letters, and I text him as a friend.  
**Koukou:** you still "kissed" him at a new years party and then did STUFF with him.   
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  That's attraction. Or lust. NOT love.  
**Koukou:** you wanted him as much as he wanted you and thEN YOU DITCHED HIM. AND he said you were all jealous when he replaced your help with an actual tutor, like come on rei you're totally obsessed.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I wasn't jealous.  
**Koukou:**  Rei, please, just think about it. be honest with yourself.

 

_Am I?_

_I can't be, though._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I will Gou. please I just need time to think about him, ok. I've never seen love as a good thing, and I don't think I am, but...  
**Koukou:** you'd better figure it out damn soon, or else I'm going to become your worst nightmare.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Alright Gou. Class is actually already started, you are exceedingly lucky I put up with your nonsense this long.  
**Koukou:** fix. it.

_**Koukou** is now offline._

 

_I'll fix it._

 

* * *

 

Nagisa,

Meet me in the library today. I left this letter early in the morning on the way to school so you would find it, but if you do not happen to see it before you leave the house, that's alright too.

\- R

 

* * *

 

Nagisa, please.

We need to talk.

I'm sorry.

\- R

 

* * *

 

Leave me alone Rei.

 

* * *

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** Nagisa?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:** I know you're online, it says so in the chat.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I know it's late but Nagisa, please.

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa please I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You can't just disappear on me. Please.

 

_It is 4:00 AM_

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now online._

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** And why not?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** You had no problem with disappearing on me.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** In fact you did worse than leave me alone; you left me with people I don't even know. You ditched me after I did something I would NEVER have done to someone else, someone I didn't trust not to leave me. So give me one good reason why I shouldn't just delete your number and block you, and never talk to you again.

 

_It is 4:15 AM_

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  ...  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  What's wrong, Rei-chan?  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  Do you have something to say?

 

_Yes._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:** Yes.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:**  So what is it then?

 

_I love you._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  ...  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA:** So what is it then, Rei? Or were you just lying again?

 

_I love you._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Yes.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I

 

_It is 4:30 AM_

  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** I'm done. Bye.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa wait, I was afraid. I am still afraid.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I did not want to seem shallow, or worse.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I really did not want to seem clingy or akin to some sort of jealous freak.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  And then, I thought you wanted me too, so I went along with what you wanted.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'm sorry. Please just let me explain it all.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** Sorry isn't good enough anymore Rei. I gave you half an hour to explain, and all you came up with was "Yes" or "...".

 

_I love you._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I love you. 

 

_Please don't go._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Please don't go.

 

_Please._

 

 **NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** I know.  
**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!:** I'm sorry.

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

_It is 4:45 AM_

 

_It is 5:00 AM_

 

_It is 5:15 AM_

 

**Phone locked.**

 

_I can't sleep at all._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand that's my contribution to the world of Reigisa. I might write a happier chapter later because in complete honesty, I'm a stickler for happy endings, but yeah. Also, this is probably my last contribution to the archive for a couple of months because I have a summer internship and a few part time jobs, so, busy! But it was a lot of fun to write.
> 
> Later!  
> ~ Maar


	2. Chapter 2

**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa please  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I'm not going to stop until you answer you know.

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

**Phone locked.**

 

* * *

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Nagisa  
 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Damn it, why won't you just ANSWER ME??

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

**Phone locked.**

 

* * *

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  It's been a week and a half. Don't you have any consideration at all for the time and effort I've put into trying to contact you, just to apologize properly?

 

_**NagisaNagisaNAGISA!** is now offline._

 

 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Fine. Don't talk then. I don't need you to talk back anyways.   
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I do apologize however for those messages above this one. They are rather uncalled for and hostile.  
 **ReiRyuugazaki13:**  I really just need you to listen, alright?  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Please, please, I know we're in the middle of a school day right now, and even though it IS break, I'm going to have to wait just a little longer. Can you please meet me in the library tomorrow then? After fifth period, please. Don't bring anyone.  
**ReiRyuugazaki13:**  Just let me explain myself at least.

 

**Phone locked.**

 

* * *

 

This was an unusual sensation.

I was not used to being waited for or waiting on someone. I had skipped the class beforehand to get here early, and the growing fear that a teacher would find me was only worsening the matter. I didn't even know if he'd show up. Even for someone like me, spending this long here in the middle of the day didn't make much sense, and the librarian was already becoming suspicious.

But I couldn't go.

I was not used to feeling this other feeling either. I believe it may have been attraction, mixed with regret. Not that the two _could_ mix, neither one being even remotely physically present, but it felt... odd. Needless to say, even with the 'mixing' aside, I had not had much experience with attraction in any form. I had almost no experience in fact, save for that one time, and that mess was the reason I was presently here.

Checking my watch again, it was currently 1:17 PM, meaning the class had ended two minutes ago. It was lunch. Surely he had plenty of time to get here by now, though logically he would have had to run. But by running, he would have been left with plenty of time, right? Two minutes wasn't long however, maybe he was still on the way, or maybe he'd gone home for some reason. Maybe he was sick and didn't come to school at all this morning. It would not be unheard of. Maybe his tutor was--

Stop. This is lunacy. Get ahold of yourself. Be  _logical,_ Rei. Two minutes is a mere hundred and twenty seconds, though perhaps closer to one hundred and eighty now, but it becomes irrelevant in the end. To traverse the whole school, even running, he would have to be going at a speed of at least ten kilometers per hour, considering the distance between here and there is four hundred and twenty six meters approximately, plus the twenty odd meters between the door and where I am between the shelves. Perhaps he could not see me however? Either way, that is more or less about two-point-seven-eight meters per second and he would have taken one hundred fifty-three point-seven-two seconds to run from there to here, not including from the entrance to where I was posted--  _where is he???_  

I must have miscalculated. Perhaps he was only running at nine kilometers per hour. Or perhaps he wasn't running, perhaps he wasn't coming at all.

I should recalculate for nine kilometers per hour.

"Rei."

When had he gotten here? How had I not noticed yet? 

"Nagisa.." I stuttered. Why did I stutter? My throat was dry. I couldn't talk. My mouth was like the Serengeti-- or the Sahara. Sahara desert. Why was I so confused?

"You wanted to talk?" His voice was also dry, lacking its usual bouncy quality. He looked like he had died recently, though everyone knew that reanimation was impossible. His hair was a mess, the normally at least mildly groomed locks uneven and stuck every which way, his face sallow and pale. Dark bags hung like curtains under his eyes, and the most immediate diagnosis I thought of was  _chronic insomnia._ He looked as though he had put on weight too, not necessarily unhealthy for someone who was so skinny, but under the circumstances, I could assume he had not intended to. He snapped his fingers and I had to forget about my analysis for a moment.

His eyes were livid.

"Talk." It was not a question, nor optional. I either explain myself now, or lose him permenantly.

"I'm sorry."

"I  _know_ that," he snapped, snarling at me. I felt myself shrinking into my skin, wishing I was of some other species, preferably a sort of mollusc or tortoise so I could have retreated into my shell. "Say something that actually has some sort of meaning for once,  _Rei._ "

"Right." I couldn't help but cough nervously, intimidated despite the noticeable height difference. "Well, I wanted to say that what happened was an accident." Even to my own ears, which had heard the line many, many times in rehearsal, it sounded moronic.

"An accident?" Nagisa raised an eyebrow, his face strangely calm. "And how, just _how_ was it an accident?"

"Well it wasn't just an accident you see," I explained quickly. "It was a mistake. But you must understand, for someone like me, incidents like thi-"

"Save your breath," he said, his relaxed demeanour cracking for a second, showing the turmoil of hurt and anger underneath. "I'm going."

"No, you're not." I grabbed his arm and forced him against the bookshelves. "I'm finishing. Whether you would like to hear what I've got to say or _not._ You can make this easy or you can drag it out even longer. It really is up to you right now." I said hastily, feeling slightly conflicted, but those sorts of thoughts would have to be pushed to the side for now.

Nagisa looked at me again, his face a sheet of red before he spoke very quietly. "Let my  _fucking_ arm go, Rei."

He looked ready to fight.

I shook my head. "No. I can't."

"You've lost me."

"I know."

"Nothing you say can fix that."

"I know."

"And yet you're still so determined to talk." He relaxed again slightly under my grip. "Why?"

"I... don't know."

He breathed in deeply, before closing his eyes a moment. "Then talk." This time, when he said it, the order was gone, replaced by exhaustion. I could see his eyes beginning to water when they opened, and I stepped back, releasing him from my grasp. I was worried I was hurting him, and sure enough, under where my hand had been, dark spots were forming.

"I'm so sorry," I almost shouted, earning a dirty look from the librarian. We had not been subtle whatsoever, after all. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked, then used my palms to wipe at the corners of his eyes. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I had never been adept, or even novice at making people feel more comforted. But when I held his head for a little, he did at least stop crying.

"It's not that."

"What then?"

"Why?" he demanded.

"Why..?"

"Why did you leave me there?" he whined, the tears forming again. "Was I not good enough for you? Was I too  _inadequate_? Or were you ashamed because I'm a _boy_?" he asked, his voice quiet but growing in sound as he slid down the bookcase and slouched on the floor. He looked like a broken doll. "Did you not want you parents to see us together? Even just for a New Year's 'kiss'?"

_Nagisa.._

"I can't help who I fall for, Rei. I definitely can't control these feelings for you. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to be with you, I  _wanted_ what happened as much as you did, but I also wanted you to stay. What do you think it's like, for someone like me who hasn't  _ever_ thought of another boy like that? To spend one wild half hour, not even, just us together, only to have you run off and disappear outside, claiming you just needed a drink of water. And then having to find my own way out later, from a party where I know nobody, call a taxi and drive home alone, wake up both my parents. I was _terrified_ the whole time, someone would know, somehow, and you  _left me_ in that state of constant paranoia for  _days_. I need someone who's  _reliable,_ and  _stable,_ someone I can trust not to do that. How do I know you won't do it again, at an even worse time? With applications coming up, how will I be able to deal with the mental strain you've put on me?

"I don't want to love you anymore Rei, but I can't help it, and it's been eating me away, bit by bit. How do I know you won't stay here with me?"

I don't know what to do anymore.

"I'm here now."

I had never been adept, or even novice at making people feel more comforted.

"I'm so, unbelievably, _tired_ Rei."

"I know. I'm not going anywhere. We have plenty of time to talk, and to sort this out. I promise we will."

But when I crouched next to him and wrapped my arms around him, he stopped crying.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nagisa,

I am pleased to finally be able to talk to you freely again. I know what happened was difficult, and it may take a while before things become completely normal again, but I look forward to when they do. (Or as normal as they can become, given the current circumstances.) My parents may have had a bit of an odd reaction when I'd told them, but my mother was thoroughly pleased, stating you may be able to teach me some emotions. My father said he doubted it.

I hope yours had as positive a reaction to our relationship as mine did. I am glad we were able to end the year like this, and in turn, begin something new.

Thank you.

 

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_...in the end, I suppose the outcome was not, in fact, so terrible._

_I look forward to seeing you in person again, however, until then, I hope my letters will suffice._

 

Sincerely,  
\- Rei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....aaaand that's it folks! Hope you enjoyed the last chapter, while it's considerably shorter than the first, I didn't want a super long fight/conclusion, mainly because I feel if you've had a super long fight, you're not gonna be able to really even be friends anymore, and that's just no good in a fic.
> 
> Anyways, now I'm going to be working more on the Eruri fic I'm doing, (stay posted for that! it's already like 10000 words yay, and only one chapter, but idk when I'll publish it,). I've had this chapter on some back shelf in my mind for a while now, and I just felt like it was time to put it out, before I got thoroughly invested in anything else. 
> 
> So, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed :3  
> \- Maarkriifaas


End file.
